My Memoir Revision

I decided to do my blog on my revision i think i need to make on my memoir. After reading the comments made by two other students and my professor i think i need to change a few things. I talk to much about the actions rather than showing my readers through details what happnens. I will take out some information to make the document shorter and more concise. Also i will add more memories about my mom to try to help show the audience what kind of person my mom was before she went into the hospital. The last thing i will probably do is change the introduction. Im going to leave the ending the way it is because i rather have the memoir end at the end of the memory rather than tie it all up nice and neat. I hope this revision will help me get my vision off to my reader in a more accurate way.